dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
