I feel like I'm in dance class right now
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
