dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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