We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Where is the hickey?
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
