She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
