i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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