I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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