I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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