Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
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