I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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