Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
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