Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
