Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
