She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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