just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Randomize
