You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Randomize
