Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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