I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Bring me that man meat
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
