TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Randomize
