After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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