no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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