we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
last night I used snow as a chaser
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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