please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
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