I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I am one with the molecules
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Randomize
