so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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