I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize