My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
COCAINE IS GR8
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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