dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
