If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
