so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize