Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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