Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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