Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
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