I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
She announced her abortion via fbk
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
