come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
