Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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