I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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