ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
