OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
