the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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