The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
