I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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