How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
a search helicopter?!
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Randomize