Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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