I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
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We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
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Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
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