At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
