i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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