Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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