Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i think my mom watched the whole time
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
