how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
We have so much sex to catch up on
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
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