i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
