She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
