She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
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