Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
