but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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