So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
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