pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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