i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
