man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Randomize
