WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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