she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
