my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
